I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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