dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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