Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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