Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize