just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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