I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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