If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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