Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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