if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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