this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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