I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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