Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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