I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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