I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
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I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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