Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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