I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
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If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
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soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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