I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize