Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize