He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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