I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
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We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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