you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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