i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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