Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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