it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize