Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
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Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Floor bacon is actually really good
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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