I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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