Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize