You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize