I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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