i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Randomize