y did u give ur computer a hand job?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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