I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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