Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize