my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
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she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
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I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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