she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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