They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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