If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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