I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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