You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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