I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
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You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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