I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize