You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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