Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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