I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize