I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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