I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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