i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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