in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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