My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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