Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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